relationships

Song for the Broken Hearted

Song for the Broken Hearted

Ezra Blackwood

Who knew that love would have such a bitter taste?

And the bliss of ignorance could never be replaced?

That the day would come where I would have to set you free,

Or that when you left you’d take the better part of me,

And while they say the brightest stars leave the blackest holes,

They forgot to mention it would ever be this cold,

Alone,

With nothing left to hold (no, no).


Still, part of you won’t seem to go away,

Reminds me how I hate this each and every day,

And I’m well aware of all the consequences,

I see how loving you has left me so defenseless,

So you can keep that broken heart that you quietly stole,

You can take those broken dreams, but you won’t take my soul,

No, no,

This love has taken its toll (on me).


And, maybe it’s true; we’ve made every mistake,

But, baby, you’ll still be the hardest habit I’ve had to break,

I’ll turn my head to the skies, pray that love leave these eyes,

Cause now I know how much a heart must break before it is wise,

Seems like when we love, it just leaves a scar,

And all the new cuts cover where the old ones are,

We couldn’t have known, we would lose much,

But that doesn’t mean I won’t still miss your touch,

No, no

I’ve just got to let you go (don’t go).


If you asked me right now, I’d have to say that I’m fine,

Then drown all of the lies I’d tell inside this bottle of mine,

Because the truth is, my dear, I can’t handle these tears,

Or feeling like we’ve hurt enough to last a thousand years,

And how the bed that we shared, is still made up on your side,

Can’t stand looking back and wondering if we really tried,

No, no,

I guess now we’ll never know (no, no).

Pejay Rossi - Regret

A Story of Regret

Dedicated to Dana

He was willing to give you everything.

Some people just have this ability to love deeply, profoundly, and completely. No matter how many storms they’ve weathered, they still choose to shine and they still choose to love. Despite all they’ve been through, they still manage to trust their heart and follow it courageously. And somewhere along the way, it was that heart that led them straight to you. At first there may have been a lot of uncertainty, but it soon became clear that this was no ordinary love. He was the guy willing to do just about anything for you, who knew when you needed him even when you didn’t say a word. He never held back his emotions and was never shy about telling you what he was thinking or feeling. Despite any mistakes he may have made along the way, time and time again, through actions, he fought to prove himself and his love to you. But for whatever reason you remained bitter and angry. Whether it was because of a few bad choices he may have made in the beginning, or the direct result of being burned so many times by those before him, you always expected the worst. For years the battle to win your trust and affections back waged on. But a person can only fight so long before they grow weary and break. And sadly, you broke him.

Blinded by skepticism and bitterness, you couldn’t reciprocate the kind of love he was offering. Either you weren’t mature enough or you just didn’t know how to let go of the past and appreciate what it is you had staring you in the face. Or maybe you were too selfish. Perhaps the timing was just always off between you both. Perhaps it was a little of each. Finally finding the potential “one” after so much heartache and pain has a way of fucking with even the most level headed person. And even after you broke his heart the first time, the second time, maybe even after the third and fourth time, he was still kind and understanding. But above all else, he still found it within himself to love you.

Not only did he find it within himself to love you after all you had done, but he was still willing to love you just as much as before. Truth be told, he probably could have loved you forever. Marriage may have even been a strong possibility in his mind. He had no trouble talking about making a lifelong commitment to you because love wasn’t something he ever held back. He might have lived in a world all his own, with his own ideas of how love is supposed to be, but he believed in love more than anyone you ever met. Even in the end you never really had to question his love for you. But he was always left wondering if his feelings were reciprocated. You knew how deeply you loved him, but you still let fear and unnecessary doubt stop you from ever letting yourself appear vulnerable in any way. If only you had realized how special his love was before it was too late.

You were too scared to see just how rare he was. It wasn’t until you met other people who left you feeling empty inside that you began to truly understand that you had made a huge mistake. Even on their best days, others who loved you would never, and could never, compare to the depth and totality that he did. And no one ever believed in you quite like he did.

Even when everyone else lost all faith in you, he had this ability to see into your heart, into your soul, and he just understood you and your intentions more than even you understood yourself at times. Even when you couldn’t see or understand it, he saw your true potential and actually believed in the person you were, the person you could one day become, and your abilities. He had so much faith and never questioned whether or not you both could make it through life together. And even with all your faults and flaws, he still thought you were perfect and looked at you with the world in his eyes. But your insecurities still managed to get the best of you. And it wasn’t until it was over that you realized he was the perfect one. Body, mind, soul and all.

Maybe, in the beginning, he messed up or had a flaw that still needlessly haunted your thoughts. It’s possible you became accustomed to disappointment and convinced yourself that there was no way things were going to turn out any differently this time either. But despite whatever doubts you may have had about you both, he never had any. And when all was said and done, all you could do was look back at what you left behind with sadness and regret.

In time you would realize that your greatest flaw was your inability to let go of the past and learn to love again. Like so many others, you were blind to what was right in front of you. And just like he wouldn’t have changed a thing about you, you realized that changing anything about him would make him imperfect as well. Suddenly you became painfully aware that his only flaw was settling for you in the first place. Especially knowing that he deserved far better.

He swore he wouldn’t love again, but you know that despite being let down by you, he would one day do just that. You know the type of person he is deep down. You know just how much love he actually has inside of him, and how much he genuinely has to offer anyone he’s with. You know he will treat them just as he treated you, and that the day will come when he meets someone that doesn’t make the same mistakes as you.

Realizing all of this, what you truly lost, you know you made the biggest mistake of your life.

So if you ever want to live the rest of your life full of regret, simply let go of the one person who loves you most. Do that and all the “what ifs” will haunt you until the end of time.

This is my story of regret.

Libertine


Whisper softly to me
Take away my fears
Build me up
Then break me down
And leave me with these tears

Undress me with your lies
Do what you do best
Twisting words
To spin your guise
Cutting deeper than the rest

Nowhere left to run
Face what you have done
See the pain
The hopes you’ve slain
And accept what you’ve become

One day you will fall
Hanging by a thread
Use, abuse
Every excuse
In the end you had to lose

Learning to Say Goodbye

A big part of growing up is learning through experience to evaluate the people in your life, along with those just coming into it. This also means that you must assess the relationships you have with them and be able to weed out the ones you know are not worth your time. Some people are worth the effort, others need to be dealt with like dirty old bandaids. Even if it hurts you, it needs to go.

I think many of us become so accustomed to the people in our lives that we tend to forget to stop and evaluate whether or not they are actually positive influences. Sometimes we allow ourselves to get so close to certain people that we lose our ability to see them for who they really are. Whether we want to believe it or not, the company we keep has the the power to affect us in ways which aren’t always perceptible. With that being said, to not take the time to stand back and survey those closest to you would be to do yourself a great disservice. If you aspire to live a positive life, then you must first start by choosing to surround yourself with those who make you happy.

It is no secret that negative people certainly have a negative effect on the people around them. There is an idiom that often comes to mind when I am assessing the people in my life and their impact on me: “You are what you eat.” In very much the same way that a good diet is crucial to achieving good health, having good people around you is key to living a better life. Humans, in general, tend to be very susceptible to their surroundings. It is because we have such a tendency to be so impressionable that we often see people adopting the attitudes of those around them.

Try to imagine what it would be like if you were the only optimist stranded on a desert island full of pessimists. It is only a matter of time before it becomes difficult for even you to maintain a positive and healthy outlook when you are constantly surrounded by negative people who only look for the worst in any given situation. The problem with negativity is that it’s very easy to get caught up in it when it’s all around you. Its oppression can become a drain on your energy and can even begin to wear on your self-esteem, which, in turn, can cause you to become a more negative person yourself.

Learn to recognize the people that are detrimental to your well-being. Start focusing on the more positive things in your life and work towards building yourself up in such a way that makes you invulnerable to the negative attitudes of others. You are the only one that can choose to make your life more satisfying and enjoyable. The question is, will you do it? Or will you allow your happiness to be dictated by everyone else?

 

Hello

Isn’t it interesting to note how something as seemingly small and unimportant as saying “hello” is the first step to any good friendship? If only that was all it took! But as the saying goes: “Nothing worth having comes easy in life.”

All good relationships require a variety of essential ingredients in order to have a fighting chance at survival. Love, trust, loyalty, time, effort, appreciation, and compassion, just to name a few. We must nurture and develop all of these qualities together in order to lay the solid foundations upon which we will build strong relationships and forge new beginnings.

This wouldn’t actually be so difficult if it weren’t for the added disadvantage of living in a world full of people who shamelessly criticize others for sheer enjoyment, compromise themselves for the sake of fitting in, and those for which complaining has become a way of life because they have not learned to give themselves the attention and compassion they need, and so feel they must seek to have these needs met by others. Add a touch of gossip from those with nothing better to do, just a hint of jealousy wrought by the insecurities of others, and a dash of self-doubt that can occasionally be attributed to our frustrations with some of our very own shortcomings. My goodness, this is beginning to sound like a recipe for disaster! There may be times where it seems as though you are searching for a needle in a haystack, but as is the case with most all of life’s hardships, there is always hope.

Though it may be true that genuinely good friends are no easy thing to come by these days, once you’ve found even one you will see that the payoff makes the struggle well worth your while. American author and historian Edward Hale put it best by saying: “The making of friends who are real friends, is the best token we have of a man’s success in life.” I have but one final sentiment to offer you regarding the subject matter at hand: Always remember that the only way to have a friend, is to be a friend. Remember that and everything will be just fine.

And before I forget, since the purpose of this particular entry was to welcome you to my blog and give you a taste of the finely detailed prattle you’ll come to expect from me, I feel it would be prudent to elucidate the kind of relationship I feel is shared between myself and anyone kind enough to take an interest in my work. The reason I chose “friendship” as the main focus of my first post is because I believe a special relationship begins to develop between writers and their audiences, which starts well before there is even anything written. For myself, I feel it start to matriculate when I am in the preliminary stages of my writing process trying to surmise what my material is going to consist of and determining how beneficial it is going to be for anyone that sees it. I wait until a topic really reaches out to me and lures me in. Once it takes hold of my mind and I am compelled to start writing, everything starts to take shape. But when I am writing, I am not doing so one-sidedly. Though they are my words, and I am drawing on my own experiences to create them, I am doing so in hopes that they will reach into the lives of others like outstretched arms and act as a source of comfort and understanding for anyone that should have need of it. So in the end, if my writing has had a positive impact on even one person, I am both grateful and thrilled because of it. In very much the same way a school is nothing more than buildings and equipment without students and knowledgeable teachers, so to this blog is much the same as another untouched dusty book merely sitting on a shelf without people to breathe life into it. Now that we have established that this is just as much your blog as it is my own, let it also be mentioned that as far as I am concerned, this will herald the start of what I hope will always be a healthy friendship of which we will all be the benefactors. I believe I started this all off making light of the potential hidden away inside of one minute little word, and so feel it is only appropriate I leave you in the same fashion. To any and all of you out there that have done me the great honor of lending me your eyes and your minds today, I give you my undying gratitude. Instead of saying “goodbye”, or “until next time”, today I bid you all a fond “hello.”