death

Tonight

 

Dedicated to my beautiful and amazing mother, Roseann. 

I love you with all my heart and soul. We’ve always joked that we would leave this world together, many years from now, old and grey, with an entire lifetime of happy memories to look back on. I promised you I would always be there to take care of you, to laugh with you, protect you and make sure you always felt loved. For as long as I can remember you’ve been my best friend, my rock, and my world.

It’s been almost seven months now since we received my diagnosis, and through it all you’ve been my strength and the driving force that keeps me fighting. I can’t help feeling like I need to keep apologizing for the situation we now find ourselves in, though I know you’ll also keep telling me that it isn’t my fault. I also know that while this is my body’s battle to fight, that you are also the one staring down every parent’s worst nightmare. Despite the odds, you’ve never once let me give up hope and you’ve always made sure I knew we were in this together. I pray to god and will remain ever hopeful that the time never comes where someone need show you this. But should that time come, it is important to me that you know how blessed and thankful I am to have spent my 30 years of life with such a beautiful, loving, kind and gentle woman. I want you to know that no matter what happens in the months ahead, that I am not afraid. The only thing about any of this that terrifies me is the thought of being taken away from you. I hate knowing what this all has to be doing to you inside, and wish I had the power to make it all go away.

Despite everything we are going through right now, I still feel like the luckiest person alive because I have you. I won’t ever give up, I will continue to fight, and no matter what, I will ALWAYS love and be with you.

I love you to the moon back lady. xoxoxoxo

~ ❤ Forever, your baby boy.


Tonight


 

I’ll miss the snow and the summer sky

And all the love in your eyes

When all that we are, becomes what we were

Remember no one loved you more

Remember the fun

And I’ll live again

I promise it’ll be okay in the end

In a cradle of white light

I’ll sleep with the stars tonight

Forever the child of an angel

Forever the moon in my eyes

I know that this time, I’ll be gone for a while

But I hope you’ll think of me and smile

Though I have to leave

It doesn’t mean that I’m gone

So hold me close as I follow my dreams tonight

I’ll wait for you in the light

Forever begins tonight

The hardest part

Is hurting you

The hardest part is seeing you cry

Look back on the years

Remember my love

And when you close your eyes I’ll be there each night

I just need one more kiss goodnight

Before I leave your arms tonight

Eternity

“Eternity, please find me

It’s colder than before

The world took all it came for

And left me at your door

The only life I’ve known

Slips beneath the waves

Forced to face my fears

I close my eyes to disappear

Forever, whisper to me

“The end is drawing near

So dry your eyes

No need to cry

Your dreams won’t leave you here

At the gates we’ll find you

Together we’ll walk through

Take my hand and we will find

A time that knows no years”

Where silent songs are whispered

As they fall on deafened ears

Eternity move through me

And we’ll dance away our fears

To a symphony of broken dreams,

By a sea of make believe,

Like a work of art,

Take your abstract heart,

And pray the pieces all align,

Elysium, eternum,

Take you softly into me,

Into me, infinity

forever, eternity.

-PJR

Messorem

On swift a wing I come to thee, that which all men earn

Dark am I, within your mind, I am the thoughts that chill,

A frightful shimmer, behold but a glimmer,

The lesson all will learn

 

And some, they say, no light of day, or even soft a glow,

No star in the sky, or moon in the night, dare show when I am near,

I am the fear, the bringer of tears

Who sings the song of woe

 

In your final moments pray, but only I preside,

Beg and cry, head to sky, no pardon you will find

No place to hide, to stand behind.

Body and soul divide

 

All your mortal values gone, great wealth and pedigree,

Your vanity and prime, all lost, the moment you found me

Despair am I, as old as time

For I the Reaper be.

 

Fui quod es, eris quod sum.

De mortuis nihil nisi bene.

Venit dies in qua vos oraverint,

“Sit tibi terra levitas.”