Poetry

Tonight

 

Dedicated to my beautiful and amazing mother, Roseann. 

I love you with all my heart and soul. We’ve always joked that we would leave this world together, many years from now, old and grey, with an entire lifetime of happy memories to look back on. I promised you I would always be there to take care of you, to laugh with you, protect you and make sure you always felt loved. For as long as I can remember you’ve been my best friend, my rock, and my world.

It’s been almost five months now since we received my diagnosis, and through it all you’ve been my strength and the driving force that keeps me fighting. I can’t help feeling like I need to keep apologizing for the situation we now find ourselves in, though I know you’ll also keep telling me that it isn’t my fault. I also know that while this is my body’s battle to fight, that you are also the one staring down every parent’s worst nightmare. Despite the odds, you’ve never once let me give up hope and you’ve always made sure I knew we were in this together. I pray to god and will remain ever hopeful that the time never comes where someone need show you this. But should that time come, it is important to me that you know how blessed and thankful I am to have spent my 30 years of life with such a beautiful, loving, kind and gentle woman. I want you to know that no matter what happens in the months ahead, that I am not afraid. The only thing about any of this that terrifies me is the thought of being taken away from you. I hate knowing what this all has to be doing to you inside, and wish I had the power to make it all go away.

Despite everything we are going through right now, I still feel like the luckiest person alive because I have you. I won’t ever give up, I will continue to fight, and no matter what, I will ALWAYS love and be with you.

I love you to the moon back lady. xoxoxoxo

~ ❤ Forever, your baby boy.


Tonight


 

I’ll miss the snow and the summer sky

And all the love in your eyes

When all that we are, becomes what we were

Remember no one loved you more

Remember the fun

And I’ll live again

I promise it’ll be okay in the end

In a cradle of white light

I’ll sleep with the stars tonight

Forever the child of an angel

Forever the moon in my eyes

I know that this time, I’ll be gone for a while

But I hope you’ll think of me and smile

Though I have to leave

It doesn’t mean that I’m gone

So hold me close as I follow my dreams tonight

I’ll wait for you in the light

Forever begins tonight

The hardest part

Is hurting you

The hardest part is seeing you cry

Look back on the years

Remember my love

And when you close your eyes I’ll be there each night

I just need one more kiss goodnight

Before I leave your arms tonight

Heresy

Vilify

Everything your faith fails to justify

Just turn a blind eye and never question why

Mindless ignorance personified

Always take the facts they find

Claim they’re falsified

From behind scared eyes

You comply

Raise someone else’s voice up to the sky

Surrender, lose control, get those hands up high

Go on now and testify

To your alibi

With His book of lies

Undefined

The scriptures start to fly like battlecries

Anything that’s different must be crucified

Rather than be unified

We are “purified”

As our worlds divide

Gratify

In His holy name, pray, as hate multiplies

Let the people die so He is satisfied

The blood used to buy

Their “eternal lives”

But they’ll realize

In the end, they were His sacrifice

Regret

In this moment of silence

Don’t pity me my pain

It’s here in isolation

I fall on your disdain

For all that pulls me under

I know there is a Hell

There’s nothing I know better

I know it all so well

Shamed into my solitude

And left with little care

Lost within my speechless grief

My glorious despair

I had hope and I believed

But yet the sun still set

And darkness fell upon me

To bathe me in regret

Carry On

Try to find the strength you need. To calm the doubts in your belief. If you’ve the will, you know your spirit will not break.

If you have strength, then you’ve belief. If you show love, your heart still beats. You’re never quite as lost as you may think.

Though far from shores you’ve yet to reach. Without a star to cross the sea. No avenues of light to guide you to the answers you can’t see.

Seeking fortitude of heart and mind. But who can guide the lost and blind? And who but you can make in Hell yourself a Heaven?

Face your fears, and face your shame. Face the idols you have made. And raze them back unto the dust from which they came.

Be not a servant of the weak. Be the light and change you seek. Leave no stone unturned, and find the strength to carry on.

Here Comes the Night

Here comes the night

Like a dream, like an endless sea

I drift away, lost in an ocean of me


Don’t need to take your hand

Nothing to lose

I’ll face these fears, like I know I should


And I, I refuse to close my eyes

Traverse the hellfires of my mind

Follow my heart back to shores

I left behind


There is an end

In your dreams, where it’s always been

Where the skies can clear and hearts can mend


And I, I refuse to run and hide

Will not give up and say goodbye

I will dry these tears and find

A place that’s mine


Here comes the night

Late and Lonely

Hey there late and lonely

Been seeing you around

Everything moves slowly

Whenever you’re about


Hey there late and lonely

So gloomy and so grey

Every room seems empty

When you decide to stay


Hey there late and lonely

Hello again my friend

For someone who can’t speak

You’re always in my head


Hey there late and lonely

I see you’re back again

Can’t help but to wonder

Has this become a trend?


Okay late and lonely

Your welcome’s up and so

Time for you to leave now

It’s time to let me go

 

I Need You

Thought that I’d be better off alone

Thought that I could hide

Pretend that I am fine

Can’t make it out here all on my own

And hard as I may try

Need you here by my side


Gets harder every day

Count the seconds I’m away

Never thought a heart like mine could break


Can’t go on

With nothing but a memory of you

Can’t hold on

I wonder if you feel the same way too

Can’t be strong

Without the one I need

To get me through each rainy day

And make it okay

I need you


Never felt quite this lost before

Like I’m walking in place

Searching for your face

And all the things that I am sorry for

I didn’t understand

The good thing that I had


Gets harder every day

Should have never walked away

How could I have made such a big mistake?


Will never find another

Made for each other

I know we were

Was so sure

Loved everything about you from head to toe

Your heart and soul, I hope you know

Every piece of me, misses what we used to be

Now i see


Can’t go on

With nothing but a memory of you

Can’t hold on

I wonder if you feel the same way too

Can’t be strong

Without the one I need

To get me through each rainy day

And make it okay

I need you